The Lies We Learn To Love

(About a 5 min read… breathe and read slowly… there’s a reward at the end…)

The other day I was thinking about difficult seasons in my life… I had so many of them I could have started a lemonade factory or silver lining production company…

One situation resurfaced… most inconveniently… as they always do… it resulted in an emotional shutdown… and then a break down… and I was left to process something that I didn’t want to face…

I’ve learned over the years that no one is immune to difficulties… setbacks are part of life… we plan and learn, ebb and flow… but there are always challenges… I used to think “well, if I had enough money… then I wouldn’t have these problems…” but the truth is… yes… you may not have those financial problems… however, you’ll trade them for other problems that come with having excess money…

The process brewed for two weeks… and then formed a painful head… like and irritating pimple… it was deep and I just couldn’t get to it…

I was reminded of a time in my late 20’s…my life was creatively chaotic… and my late wife couldn’t take it anymore… she gave me an ultimatum… go to the doctor and get this figured out, or I’m divorcing you… it cut to my heart… the feeling of not being accepted as I was… i was given the choice to conform or lose what I saw as love…

My core thrives on relationship… its power… its kingdom… so I obeyed and went to the doctor…

Through hours of scans and testing… I received a diagnosis… “this is the worst case I’ve ever seen, Michael” the doctor said… I felt damaged… I felt like everything that was spoken over me my whole life was true…

He proceeded to give me options… medication suggestions… that would alter my personality and help me to conform… and with the ultimatum i was given… I submitted…

I started to take medication… and my life started to change… my weaknesses became strengths… but my creativity entirely disappeared… amy strengths became non-existent… I felt like I traded my passion, purpose and creativity for a bowl of beans… like Esau must have felt after making a desperate and foolish trade to Jacob…

Fast forward to recently… it was like a vivid flashback… I relived the moment deep in my mind and deeper in my heart… I saw the truth from the inside out… and this was the moment that I began to take hold of what was never mine to carry… the lie that i must conform… to be…

The beautiful thing about remembering… or discovering a root is that once you’ve discovered it, you can remove it… so I did…

I stepped into a new awakening… an internal confrontation to never submit to the lie that love is based on conformity… I shook it off like a snake shedding its old skin and stepped into a newness of reality… I discovered ME again… and released the lies I learned to love and hold so close too my identity…

Moments like these are like opportunities… they don’t come through you forcing yourself to change… they come with truth exposing the lies inside you…

Let me encourage you with this… if you’ve been holding onto lies about who you are… ask the lord to show them to you… don’t be afraid to release them to the one who loves you most… God will never condemn you… he wants to remove the sliver… gently… patiently… so you can heal…

Thanks for reading this!

Michael

🤍

To read more stories like this one you can visit us at amburnministries.com/blog

Extra:

This is a song I wrote that was birthed out of this realization… it’s in lyric form so you can absorb the message:

The Lies We Learn To Love

Vs1:

You felt worthless…

So you never made a sound…

Real but earth-less…

Like you were floating in the clouds…

Dress to impress…

Because no one knew your name…

Lost and loveless…

And every day became the same…

Chorus:

These are the moments that we must…

Know the Fathers Love for us…

Cause in this place of honest trust…

We release the lies we learn to love…

Vs2:

“Its human nature…”

When they spoke about their sin…

“We’re all just creatures…

Unable to resist… “

So your behavior…

Left you wondering what you missed…

As you compared to…

Others freedom and success…

Chorus:

These are the moments that we must…

Know the Fathers Love for us…

Cause in this place of honest trust…

We release the lies we learn to love…

Bridge:

Patterns and behaviors turn to dust…

The chains that held you down begin to rust…

Cause when learn what Jesus did for us…

We replace the lies we learn to love…

And really learn to love…

Chorus:

These are the moments that we must…

Know the Fathers Love for us…

Cause in this place of honest trust…

We release the lies we learn to love…