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Ode To You Or Owed To You?

(About a 5 min read… it’s pretty deep…)


Father’s Day is bitter sweet… every year, I experience two contrasts… my Dad died about two years ago… he was a poor and broken man who lived a life for himself…


From what I understand, his passing went by primarily unnoticed… alone… having lived a wasted life… no one really cared to celebrate him…


The contrast for me has been like night to day…


I didn’t know what a father was… this made it hard to understand who God was. It’s a strange thing to consider that because I didn’t have leadership and a vision of strength in my life as a child and young man, it lead me to a very irresponsible and damaging life…


I hated watching families smiling… fathers hugging their sons… and daughters… playing catch or frisbee at the parks… biking or fishing… simple things…


I would ask myself, “what would that be like?…” and it turned into a bitter root in my heart… I would say things like “people suck” or “I hate people…” out of jealousy and pain…


The impact is real… we do what we know… and although I loved my kids, it was hard for me to father them…


I came to Colorado as a drifter… running from my problems and living my life looking backwards… basing my future on what was behind me, not what was ahead…


There was a a moment when I realized the truth… when I saw the perspective I needed to see… I married my wife… and her family…


Her dad was always the optimist… could not just only see the good in you…. but knew how to also draw it out… always consistent, real, peaceful, strong and wise… everything my dad ran from…


My wife loved her dad… they had this deep bond that in my younger years, I would mock out of pain… I saw a genuine father and daughter relationship and immediately felt out of place…


However, there’s something about time that (if surrounded by good people) will heal all wounds, as they say… and just 7 short years have proven that…


He stepped in… and lead me… he didn’t have to… it was just his natural response… a man who knew God as a Father and friend… he took the time to reveal that through his personal life… dropping what he was doing at anytime to counsel and pray with me… it was the relationship that I couldn’t see through hurt eyes…


It’s been a hard road…. We all have those in life…. Some seem longer and some not so much, however, there’s something about the power of a father that, without it, leaves us living like a 3 wheeled car… we keep teetering and crashing into things… leaving us bruised and broken…


I’d like to say “thank you, Dad… for stepping into my pain so seamlessly and naturally, while revealing the heart of God to me through your example… for you, I’m certain, that it’s just who you are… but for me… it’s changed my life and given me a legacy for my children and those I now influence…”


Michael


🤍



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