(About a 8 min read… and… it’s sad…)
We had a plan… I was notorious for surprises… and loved them… however, I learned quickly how much she didn’t…
The previous night was busy… I packed our bags and wanted to surprise her with a weekend getaway… we had been married 10 years… we had two daughters who were toddlers at the time…
I wanted to do something lavish and expensive to celebrate…
Up to this point, I was known for buying and fixing up old beater cars… and I wanted to change this… my company was growing and I could finally afford it… so, for our 10 year anniversary, I bought her a new wedding ring… and a brand new SUV…
We had been talking about going on a road trip for the last few years, but with how much I worked… we could never find the time or prioritize the resources…
I came home in our new SUV… I could see her looking out the window, with a confused look on her face… she closed the curtains and withdrew so she wouldn’t have to answer the door… that’s just how she was… always afraid during this season of her life…
I stepped out of the truck and went inside… I had two car seats, luggage for a week, snacks for the road, and a plan…
I ventured inside… I was so excited… I walked in and said “come outside for a min, I have something for you”… she was used to dinner on an anniversary… she started to get a little giddy and uncomfortable… so I took her hand and led her outside…
She looked around and said “what’s this?” I said “Happy Aniversary! This is for you!”
I knelt down and gave her the new wedding band… up to this point she was still wearing the $120 band we bought as kids… she cried… and smiled… (not something she did much of)… I opened the door and ushered her to get in the truck… “this is exactly what I wanted!”…
It felt good to meet an expectation once in a while… however, good feelings have a way of passing quickly… leaving you where you were before the next “great new thing” came along… and outside experiences never solve inside problems…
She drove around for the next few hours, I could tell that she felt normal… happy… she came home, gave me a hug and said “thank you…” this was one of those few times… it built me up and for once I felt appreciated…
The day passed… the sun went down… it was a good day… I went to the garage to tinker and collect my thoughts… as we would be leaving on our trip in the morning… as I approached the new vehicle… I noticed that it was running… and I saw something stirring through the tinted windows… the smell of exhaust was strong in the air… so I opened the garage door, i stepped closer to the truck and I opened the door… my wife was sitting with her hands on her lap and her head on the steering wheel…
A mild panic came over me… I pulled her back in her seat… her face had been bloodied by repetitively hitting herself… as she was so prone to do… I did my best to wake her up… and she slowly came to… she looked at me, rolled her eyes and said “Come on!… leave me alone…”
As she became more alert… she became even more angry… I asked “what are you doing?! You can’t sit in a running car with the garage door closed!…” to which she responded “What the %#&@ do you care?!” And exploded again by slamming her hands on the steering wheel over again… she hit it so hard that the gear engaged and she accelerated her new SUV straight into the garage back wall… deploying the airbag and throwing her back in her seat… as she sat there in her consequences… she managed to squirm out of the front driver side seat… she took a min to remove her boots… they were tall black leather boots… with silver stiletto heals… they were her favorite pair…
The stun wore off slowly as her anger began to intensify… she grabbed her boot and faster than my reflexes would allow… began to repeatedly beat me with the boot heel… I had bludgeon marks all over my arms, back and thighs… it looked like birthmarks all over my body… but they were blood blisters… after she assaulted me, she turned to her new SUV and began beating it with her favorite boots…
One dent after another… chipping paint, cracking windows, a broken mirror, it seemed like she had conjured a super strength… it intimidated me for a moment… but then I intervened…
I grabbed her arm and stopped her boot in mid-swing… I yelled “STOP IT, NOW!!” And she came to a cold halt… looked into my eyes… they were deep and black… I could feel her dark gaze deep into my aching soul… quieter I said “stop it…”
In a matter of seconds I noticed I was on the floor… and she was on top of me repetitively and violently punching my head and anything else within reach. She would growl… I wasn’t sure what to think in the moment, but eventually she stopped, stood up, and walked away… silent…
I slowly sat up and leaned against the truck… I couldn’t assess my damage very well as my whole body throbbed… I noticed that my right hip was exceptionally sore and turned to see a stiletto heel protruding from my body… it was a deep wound… both to my body and my heart…
In moments like these… we all have a choice… to be bitter… or better… in that moment… I chose bitter… and my life became worse for it…
Thank you for reading this post… it’s my hearts desire that, as you read this, you might begin to see life as an overcomer and know that you were meant for so much more than abuse and limitations.
Michael
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